=========================================================================== The NOT So Daily Crap We cut the cheese, so you can smell it! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- jaargang 1 ; nummer 33; oplage: 117 stuks ; prijs: donaties welkom --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hoofdredacteur: Flappie ; Redacteur/Webmaster: Radavi =========================================================================== En opeens kreeg Deef deze vraag toen hij 'rtin' intikte: Subscribe to new group alt.redheads (y/n/q) [n] Maar hier dan de rest van het gebabbel. Ik weet niet wat er precies fout is gegaan bij de versturing van TNSDC, maar schijnbaar zijn er toch een aantal mensen die iets niet helemaal goed ontvangen hebben. Vermoeden bestaat dat het aan de manier van post ophalen danwel lezen ligt (tuurlijk altijd eerst afschuiven die hap...). Dit vermoeden bestaat doordat er steeds op hetzelfde afgekapt wordt, ook bij de individuele attachment. Afijn, ze issues zijn ook altijd via het web te verkrijgen, dus leesvoer is er altijd wel! Deef - "Fun size? I always thought fun would be bigger." El hottos indexios, und eine cerveza bitte: - Advertentie - Gehoord/Gezien/Gelezen - 3 Verschillende onderzoeken samengevoegd. - Loveline - Spamstatement - Brain Test - Ask Dr. Science! - Dog - Voor de Apple aanhangers - De bizarre dingen van deze week - Verbazingwekkend levensechte sexpoppen - Internet-verslaving officieel - Car Accident - Super model quotes - Ibm - How to Write a College Term Paper... - LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN IS FOUR YEARS OLD!!! =========================================================================== Mocht er iemand in de buurt van de rooie/oranje keet op het strand van Noordwijk een blauwe sok vinden, laat de redactie dit dan weten. Dit keer was Deef echt de schuldige ;-) There's a quote for every situation: Still, for me, socks are like sex. Tons of it about & I can't seem to get any. From Blackadder =========================================================================== Gehoord/Gezien/Gelezen In Apeldoorn heeft een beschonken man vijf politie-agenten en een politiehond in het water gekregen. De man werd achtervolgd door de politie, en toen zijn auto vastliep dook hij in de gracht, langs de Hovenlaan. Hij weigerde er nog uit te komen, en daarom stuurde de politie een hond het water in. Maar de dronkeman probeerde de hond te verdrinken. Daarop gingen twee agenten in dienstonderbroek te water. Maar ook toen nog leek de man te ontsnappen, dus sprongen er nog drie Apeldoornse agenten de gracht in. Die grepen hem uiteindelijk in de natte kladden. Bron: InternetKrant - http://www.es.ele.tue.nl/ink/ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Nederlandse toeriste in Frankrijk slachtoffer van groepsverkrachting De Franse politie heeft negen jongens gearresteerd na de verkrachting van een 20-jarige Nederlandse toeriste in het westen van Frankrijk. Aanvankelijk waren 13 jongeren aangehouden. Vijf jongens zijn aangeklaagd wegens groepsverkrachting; de anderen wegens medeplichtigheid. De verkrachting had zondagavond plaats bij een discotheek in de badplaats Les Sables d'Olonne aan de Atlantische kust. Bron: Radio Nederland Wereldomroep - http://www.rnw.nl/ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Ook dieven hebben kennelijk last van de warmte. Bij een inbraak op het Petuniaplein in Zoetermeer beperkten de indringers zich tot het weghalen van een air-conditioner. En op de Loosduinseweg in Den Haag pakte de politie twee inbrekers op heterdaad. Op de achterbank van hun auto stonden gestolen kratten met flessen drinken en pallets met blikjes. Bron: Radio Nederland Wereldomroep - http://www.rnw.nl/ =========================================================================== 3 Verschillende onderzoeken samengevoegd. In een paar dagen tijd komt deze informatie tot mij: 1) Volgens een ruwe schatting van het CBS gaven de Nederlandse mannen vorig jaar maar liefst 1 miljard gulden uit aan hoerenloperij. Dat is grofweg 175 gulden per Nederlandse man per jaar. Bron: Panaroma 2) Volgens de puriteitstest (http://www.xs4all.nl/~radavi/radavi/t-purity.html) Heeft de vraag "Had sexual intercourse with a prostitute?" voor elk persoon een negatief antwoord. 3) Nieuws bericht vermeld bij Jay Leno en Conan O'Brien. Dankzij Dejanews vond ik dit artikel in een newsgroup: LONDON -- Lovers who forget their partner's name during sex can blame a genuine medical condition, an expert reported Tuesday. The condition, known as transient global amnesia, can make people forget what they are doing during sex, said Russell Lane of the West London Neurosciences Center at Charing Cross Hospital. Writing to the Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry, he described the case of a man who repeatedly experienced the effect during sex. The phenomenon, which he dubbed "coital amnesia," is not uncommon and may be linked with migraine or epilepsy, although the connection is unclear, Lane said. "The fact that a person can repeatedly experience selective amnesia for sexual intercourse, but otherwise function normally during the amnestic period, raises interesting social and medico-legal considerations," he concluded. Conclusie: - Of de schatting van het CBS klopt niet (1) - Of de testpersonen liegen bij de vraag (2) - Of mensen vergeten dat ze bij een prostituee geweest zijn (3) =========================================================================== Dear Loveline, I'm a 25-year old grad student working on my Masters. My problem is that I'm still living with my parents, which is very tough on my social life. Got any suggestions? Sexless in Seattle Dear Sexless, I suggest you drop out of school immediately and get a job at Burger King or Wendy's. Remember, chicks don't really go for the nutty professor type, but they *love* a man in uniform. Also, get a van and you can move out without worrying about finding an apartment. Bron: The Daily Weekly (daily@walrus.com) =========================================================================== Een statement betreffende de spam-email van vorige TNSDC. August 12, 1997, 12:50 p.m. PT Samsung and a lawyer representing the company have found out first-hand the power of the Internet in the hands of someone with malicious intentions. Since late Friday, a spam accusing Netizens of "Internet terrorism" has been making the rounds, requesting that users "cease and desist from all inflammatory Internet hacking, telephone hacking, flaming, jamming, and other illegal activities." The email directs all responses to Russell Allyn, counsel for Samsung, and an attorney with Katz, Hoyt, Seigel, and Kapor in Los Angeles. "If you have responded aversely to a recent bulk email message from our client, Samsung America, or from any of its subsidiary companies, then you may be one of the people who has performed fraudulent and actionable transgressions, thereby causing severe harm to our client," the email in question states. "Your email name was provided as being suspected of connection to various acts of Internet terrorism. Your acts are illegal," the message adds. Allyn denied any involvement with the threatening email. "It's not from our office; it's not from me," he said this morning. The suspected perpetrator of the fraud is someone dissatisfied with a settlement in a recent case in which Allyn represented Samsung in, the attorney contended. "This was his way of seeking retribution," Allyn added. Allyn's office has been choked by responses. "We have had calls from all 50 states, international calls, some from Sweden, England, Switzerland, all upset at being accused, purportedly by me, of Internet terrorism." Although it is not clear when the initial email was sent out, by last Friday, the "cease and desist" email included Allyn's office phone and fax number, his California state bar number, and his home phone number. Allyn said that most who received the spam were understanding when they found out that it was not from him. Bron: Cnet - http://www.cnet.com =========================================================================== Brain Test: How smart are you? READ the following sentence: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE- SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF- IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.. Now count the F's in that sentence.. Now for the answer. . . There are six F's in the sentence.. One of average intelligence finds three of them.. If you spotted four, you're above average.. If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody.. If you caught six, you are a genius.. There is no catch. Many people forget the OFs.. The human brain tends to see them as "V's" instead of "F's".. Submitted by Frank Van Den Block =========================================================================== Ask Dr. Science! Q: How does gravity work? Gravity doesn't work at all, you idiot! Tremendous overhead atmo- spheric pressure results in a subtle "puckering" of the surface tension of the Earth. We are not firmly on the ground at all, but are all flying out through space at 10,000 kilometers per second. Because the surface of the Earth is flying out (expanding) at exactly the same speed, we appear to be kept firmly on the ground. The Earth will continue to expand until it eventually fills the entire universe. THIS WEEK'S DR. SCIENCE EXPERIMENT: (Kids, ask Dad to help, since Mom is just a girl and probably doesn't know science very well. If you don't have a dad, then you can't have fun with the rest of us, so go watch TV or something.) Take a handfull of Earth and throw it as high into the sky as you can. Notice how it comes hurtling back to the ground? That's part of the effect of the Earth's expansion, eventually filling the whole universe. You've done your part! Now go eat some candy. Oddly enough LeMel Hebert-Williams looks just like Dr. Science! Bron: The Daily Weekly (daily@walrus.com) =========================================================================== Dog De domme Smo reed op een donkere dinsdag avond KWaad over de Heideveldweg in Laren steekt er een hond over remt ze.. hoor je een doffe knal geeft ze gas en rijd ze verder... sindy schreeuwt dat ze moet stoppen.. Dark ook. Smo rijdt door onder het motto .. Ik ga eerst naar sandra m'n thee opdrinken, de muts. Dark en Sin overmeesteren de auto en pakken de sleutels af van domme smo, man doet gelukkig geen aangifte omdat we zijn komen kijken en hond leeft nog.. Ma de klerk zegt. ja eeuhh nou marco als jij niet mee was gereden was het ook niet gebeurt... =========================================================================== Voor de Apple aanhangers. Petition to ask Steve Jobs to return as Apple's new CEO. http://www.geocities.com/SiliconValley/Park/9792/steve_now.html =========================================================================== De bizarre dingen van deze week... Good news for heavy drinkers: you won't lose your hair. According to ABC News, Dr. Hugh Rushton, a British hair loss expert, says that "one of the best ways to avoid going bald is to drink to excess." And if this solution isn't for you, Dr. Rushton has another. "If you castrate a man or force him to drink too much alcohol, it is very unlikely he will lose his hair."... sounds like a party to me... A 73-year-old Milwaukee woman has lost her suit against the local Catholic Church, after an electronic scoreboard fell on her during a bingo game in 1990. Mary Verdev was asking for $90,000 in damages, claiming that since the incident she experiences spontaneous orgasms, sometimes in "clusters"... b-b-b-b-bingo! Brandon Hughes of Memphis, Tennessee, went into court to challenge some minor traffic violations. On the witness stand, while raising his hand to take the oath, a gram of cocaine fell out of his pocket... E.C. Stewart, Jr. may never get out of jail after the Levelland, Texas District Attorney recommended last week that his bail be set at "a zillion dollars". The judge agreed. A spokesman at the Hockley County jail said he didn't think Stewart had a lawyer yet... In Clearwater, Florida, a 70-year-old man was killed while sunbathing in a lounge chair at the beach, when a bulldozer ran over him... hey, we asked him to move... Bron: Bizarre News - http://www.bizarrenews.com =========================================================================== Verbazingwekkend levensechte sexpoppen RealDoll is een site waar sexpoppen te koop worden aangeboden. Niet zomaar opblaaspoppen, maar "State of the Art Humanoid Sex Slaves", die op maat en met de hand gemaakt worden. Even verbijsterend als de levensechte - hyperrealistische - uitvoering is op zijn minst de FAQ-list: ,,Wat als ze niet past?`` En: ,,Kan ik er mee onder de douche?`` De goedkoopste versie van de RealDoll kost overigens ruim 8000 gulden. Mannelijke poppen zijn in voorbereiding, evenals modellen die aangestuurd worden door elektronica. Een science-fiction fantasie lijkt werkelijkheid te worden. Bron: The Daily Planet - http://www.pi.net http://realdoll.com/ =========================================================================== Internet-verslaving officieel Het web is niet verslavend, chatten en email wel. Tot deze `opvallende` conclusie komt dr. Kimberly Young die er net een studie naar heeft verricht. Doel van de studie is de officiele erkenning van Pathological Internet Use (PIU), oftewel Internet-verslaving, als psychologisch probleem, meldt TechWire. Bron: The Daily Planet - http://www.pi.net http://192.215.107.71/wire/news/aug/0813addict.html =========================================================================== If you've ever been in a car accident, you know that no one is ever at fault. Whether the guilty party is another driver, a seemingly stationary telephone pole, or one of those pesky pedestrians, no driver since Henry Ford has ever admitted fault-- especially on an insurance claim. The following explanations were taken from actual insurance company forms and published in the "Toronto Sun." * Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. * The other car collided w/ mine w/out giving warning of its intentions. * The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him. * A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face. * A pedestrian hit me and went under my car. * The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. * To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front, I hit the pedestrian. * An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished. * I thought my window was down but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. * I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old man as he bounced off the roof of my car. * The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car w/ a big mouth. "Toronto Sun" 1977 =========================================================================== Super model quotes "Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery." -- Beverly Johnson "My boyfriend thinks I lost my true calling to be a librarian." -- Paulina Porizkova "I love the confidence that makeup gives me." -- Tyra Banks "My husband was just OK looking. I was in labor and I said to him, 'What if she's ugly? You're ugly.'" -- Beverly Johnson "I don't wake up for less than $10,000 a day." -- Linda Evangelista "When I model I'm pretty blank. You can't think too much or it doesn't work." -- Paulina Porizkova "I don't know what to do with my arms. It just makes me feel weird and I feel like people are looking at me and that makes me nervous." -- Tyra Banks "It was kind of boring for me to have to eat. I would know that I had to, and I would." -- Kate Moss "I'm a pretty girl who's a model who doesn't suck as an actress." --Cameron Diaz =========================================================================== IBM The University of Alabama upgraded its mainframe this weekend (from an IBM 3090-400E, a 128Mb four-CPU system installed in 1986, to an IBM 9672-R53 with five processors and 2Gb of memory). I went down to the machine room a few moments ago (which, with all of the cables lying across the floor, looks like the site of a giant squid explosion), and noticed that the old mainframe was not powered down. When asked the reason why the old mainframe was still on, the IBM technician responded, "we're leaving it on to heat the room." Patrick Douglas Crispen - Tourbus =========================================================================== How to Write a College Term Paper... 1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonald's and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-thre plastic folders, drop him. 5. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it. 7. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate. 8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror. 9. Listen to one side of your favorite tape and that's it, I mean it, as soon as it's over you are going to start that paper. 10. Listen to the other side. 11. Rearrange all of your CDs into alphabetical order. 12. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if he's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the university, the world at large. 13. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 14. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue; savor its special flavor. 15. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from Masterpiece Theater to Sgt. Preston of the Yukon, is truly worthwhile, with these exceptions: a) Pro Bowler's Tour b) any movie starring Don Ameche. 16. Catch the last hour of soul Brother of Kung Fu on channel 26. 17. Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he was watching. Discuss the finer points of the plot. 18. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror. 19. Look through your roomate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is. 20. Sit down and do some serious thing about your plans for the future. 21. Open your door and check to see if there are any mysterious, trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall. 22. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 23. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the hell of it. 24. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise. 25. Lie face down on the floor and moan. 26. Leap up and write the paper. 27. Type the paper. 28. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write the damn paper. By Brian Meyers? =========================================================================== LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN IS FOUR YEARS OLD!!! Stay tuned for September's star-studded, fun and madness on 'Late Night with Conan O'Brien' which celebrates the fourth year anniversary of the show's debut! Since taking over from David Letterman in 1993, Conan O'Brien has helped the show achieve an enormous following in the U.S. and Europe. "Late Night" is one of NBC's most popular shows, attracting a monthly audience in Europe exceeding ten million viewers. Before stepping in front of the cameras as host of "Late Night", O'Brien was a writer/ producer and eventual supervising producer for the Fox series "The Simpsons". Between 1991 to 1993, he created some of the show's most popular episodes, including his personal favorite, "The Monorail". O'Brien had previously been a writer on "Saturday Night Live" from 1988 to 1991, the period that produced such popular recurring sketches as "Mr. Short-Term Memory" and "The Girl Watchers" (first performed by Tom Hanks and Jon Lovitz). In 1989, O'Brien and the other "Saturday Night Live" writers won the Emmy Award for Outstanding Writing in a Comedy or Variety Series." O'Brien is a graduate of Harvard University, where he was elected president of the Harvard Lampoon for two consecutive years. 'Late Night With Conan O'Brien' airs Wednesday - Saturday @ 23:00 CET/21:00 UK Bron: NBC Europe - http://www.NBCeurope.com =========================================================================== Deze krant verkrijgt zijn artikelen door de lezers, het web en verscheidene nieuwsbrieven danwel maillinglists. Copyright/auteursrecht bij de maker van het artikel. Indien er geen bron vermelding/auteur bij staat dan nemen wij aan dat het publiekelijk eigendom is en iedereen het kan copieren. --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Aanmelden/Afmelden dient te geschieden door het formulier op de huispagina (http://www.dra.nl/~tnsdc), of door een vriendelijke mail te sturen naar tnsdc@dra.nl of naar radavi@xs4all.nl Wanneer u stof voor deze krant heeft, kunt u dat ook naar de bovengenoemde email adressen toesturen. ===========================================================================